Updated: Aug 22, 2019
I’m good at a few things, one of them being setting boundaries. If you know me personally, you know that I don’t play about my personal space and who I allow in it. Also, I’m really good at saying “no”. If I don’t want to do something, I’ve gotten REALLY good that expressing my “no”. Us humans are social animals that thrive on reciprocity. Unless you are a sociopath, you naturally have an inclination to oblige the requests of certain individuals. Sometimes, the word “no” feels confrontational and using the word "no" can potentially threaten the foundation of a friendship and/or relationship. On the other hand, when you say “yes” too easily, you run the risk or overcommitting your time, your energy… and even your finances. “The ability to communicate ‘no’ really reflects that you are in the driver’s seat of your own life,” said Vanessa M. Patrick, an associate professor of marketing at the C. T. Bauer College of Business at the University of Houston. “It gives you a sense of empowerment.”
Indeed, learning to say “no” can come in handy. As a consultant and a life coach, I can honestly say that 25% of the consultation/session is spent helping entrepreneurs set boundaries and say “no”. In light of the growth of my business, I’ve noticed a hesitancy with my “yes” concerning some things God has asked me to embark upon. In my mind, I rationalized that I’m not being disobedient because I do EXACTLY what God says…. just on my own time. If you’ve been walking with God for a little while, you’ve probably discovered that God is quite specific about HOW he wants things done. It takes an extreme amount of discipline to be obedient. Obeying your parents isn’t always great obedience training and your parents don’t know everything and your parents can’t see anything. Be honest, you’ve got away with PLENTY of little white lies. But the way God’s omnipresence is set up, nothing is hidden from him.... not even your hesitancy.
I thought I could “get away with” my hesitancy as long as I completed God’s command at my earliest convenience, but that’s not sacrifice - it’s passive aggressive disobedience. There should never be a moment where you get comfortable with being hesitant with God. As believers, we should feel convicted for the thoughts of disobedience that cross our mind EVEN we you obey his commands physically. This “yes” that God requires out of us is an act of complete surrender.
Characteristics of "The Hesitant Yes"
1. Longing for the easy way out.
No one said this road would be easy, but I don't believe that God brought you this far to only bring you this far. Our hesitancy is often derived from our disdain for the process that God is taking us through. I'm not telling you develop such a love for suffering that you start practicing sadomasochism. However, I am saying that you must trust God enough to allow your current statement of uncomfortableness yield a positive result.
2. Lack of biblical knowledge
There is no excuse for a lack of biblical knowledge in my opinion. Honestly, I think it's disrespectful to claim you love someone without putting forth any effort to get to know them in a more intimate way. For those of you in committed relationships, think about how you yearn for your partner to details of your life. As a female, I can honestly admit that if bae can't pay attention to me, then bae won't be bae for long! Why? Intentionality is a sign of love and intimacy. So here's my question: are you has intentional with God as you should be?
It's time to go beyond memorizing Sunday School scriptures. I'm admonishing you to engage fully in biblical literature. WARNING: This may require you to search for God outside of a refined Google search! Listen, God is worth the pursuit. It's easier to tell God "yes" when you get to know him. I'm not saying that I always understand God because I don't. If I were to be completely honest, I'm in a place where I have almost given up trying to understand his ways, my mind may be to small for that anyway. In this surrender, I've learned the nature of God through intimacy AND scripture. You need scripture. You need biblical knowledge. Your relationship with God needs to be fed with the word...so feed it.
This journey with God can be painful. Our calling was never meant to be easy. It sounds glamorous when we talk about our dreams and all the inspiring things we believe God is birthing out of us: planting a new church, being promoted, starting a ministry, preaching abroad, etc. Yet, when we find ourselves in the middle of the desert or valley in pursuit of that calling, we begin to question whether our dreams were actually God inspired. Let's be real: sometimes, we question whether we can really be what God has called us to be. Just remember that God has already equipped you for this, God already has a plan of provision for you... you just need to trust him!
My prayer for you is that you perfect your ability to say “yes” to God and mean it.
I pray that you allow the Holy Spirit to convict your heart every time you try to rationalize your “no” or your hesitancy.
Lastly, I pray for your “yes” to become second nature in your relationship with God.
Trust me, your “yes” is connected to things bigger than you could ever imagine.