When the Hurt and the Healer Collide
No one knows the downright ugly truth about what happened between Will, Jada, and August... and that's their business. The Red Table Talk was honest, and quite brave - but it wasn't a tell-all. There are still some things they left unsaid. I want to highlight a few things that stood out to concerning the details that are public knowledge concerning this entanglement.
The black woman is a force to be reckoned with. I’m not a god or a deity - so let’s kill the whole “Black is King” atmosphere. Jesus Christ is not only king… he’s king of kings. Let’s move on.
August admitted that he suffers from a medical condition, but it’s clear that his liver isn’t the only issue. Aside from his health problems, Alsina has also had some personal tragedies. His brother was killed, and his sister-in-law died after having cancer, so he began taking care of his four nieces.
On becoming a parent, Alsina said told The Shade Room last year, “They call me Damy it’s dad and mommy mixed together and just the weight of that title alone because I don’t have kids of my own, it makes me want to be what I know I need to be for them because I grew up with my father dead and having a strained relationship with my mother. To go through life without having a person you can run to, without having a certain type of foundation, so I’m saying all of that to say I am how I am. And I am how I am until I get to more of what I’m supposed to be.”
It’s clear August needed someone to talk to. His hurt needed an outlet and Jada saw it and capitalized off of it. August was sick and Jada wanted to feel good.
August sat there on that interview and said he was “deeply in love” and she called it an entanglement. Then, she brushed it off with a series of laughs with her husband. Maybe he misunderstood their relationship. Maybe we'll never know the real truth. But we can all conclude that this is a bad case of when the hurt and the healer collide.
We need to have a real conversation about the self-destructing cycle that a broken individual will willingly participate in by sexually, mentally, emotionally, and physically aligning with another visibly broken individual - and call it a relationship.
We need to talk about how toxic it is to establish a bond with someone else with pain as the common denominator.
We need to talk about how pain distorts your view of… well everything.
We need to talk about how an individual can become so desperate for love, attention, and warmth that entanglement looks like love.
Listen, the love of a woman is POWERFUL. We are nurturers by nature, but when a woman nurturers a man with selfish motives, the fruit of it is bitter. It can turn the most admirable gentleman into a dog.
August isn’t the only getting played out here… his situation just got played out in public. I’m no marriage expert, but desperation seems to be the foundation to the worldly version of “relationship goals”. I’m not interested in entangling a boy. Leave that tangled mess for the Disney movies.
Secondly, EVERY ONE IS NOT A HEALER. I admire Iyanla Vanzant, she identifies herself as a healer. Guess what? She has some amazing success stories from her work. However, I know that my HEALING comes from God and no one else. I have empathy for Jada (and women like her) because it’s evident that her aspirations are/have been misplaced.
Sis, why are you happy about “healing” someone but you lack the tools to find the real healer?
Is this why so many men and women flock to ministry? Is it true that healing people makes your insecurities feel better?
Is this a law of attraction?
Do y’all light candles and manifest this stuff or do the dead ancestors y’all conjure up healing (or a strong delusion)?
Can you really "heal thy self"?
I digress.
At the end of the day, the only healer is Jesus. You can’t find your healing in man or woman. I tried, it doesn’t work. You need Jesus. August, Jada, Will - they all need the person of Jesus and all of the healing, forgiveness, reconciliation and redemption that he brings.
I still believe in the institution of marriage and that sage belongs in the dressing I cook for Thanksgiving… I know it’s old fashioned… but it’s right. Before the married people sound off, we ALL know marriage is hard. It's literally a definitive term for two broken people trying to become one whole piece. But the body of Jesus was broken for us and the blood that Jesus shed still has ALL power!
Let's allow the Jada's Red Table Talk to remind us how God is an open invitation to his table 24/7. We can bring all our stuff, our baggage, our entangelments, with no judgement. Be grateful that some of your entanglements didn't get exposed.
God covered you!
Thank you for reading my digression.