The past few months have been a whirlwind. Fortunately, the past few months have been worthy of celebration. I’m so grateful to God for his blessings!
My entire schedule and mindset have shifted dramatically, which has caused a few rifts in my personal and spiritual life. I know people think that I’ve lost my mind or that I’ve been irrational, but that’s not the case (this time). I’ve just outgrown the things I use to accept ** inserts shoulder shrug**.
I’m writing this blog to every woman that feels like 2019 has been a hard reset on life. This blog post is to every woman that has become allergic to mediocrity over time. This blog post is for the woman that knows she’s been pushed to the side to make another individual feel better about themselves. This blog post is for the woman who has been struggling to relay this new season in your life. This blog post is for the woman who feels stuck, vulnerable, powerful, determined, confused… all at the same time.
You’re being developed. Let the process happen.
WARNING: I’m going to be extremely candid. Get your tissues out and let God speak to you through this article.
Developing Allergic Reactions
I’ve always been allergic to foolishness. My temperament cannot tolerate lies, deceit… basically anything that God hates. As I’m matriculating in my journey to surrender, I’ve noticed that I’ve become allergic to the bare minimum and insensitivity. Now these allergies of mine are just apart of my personal story. Maybe you’ve become more sensitive about your weight or about you want your room to look. I’ve spoken with a few woman that have grown intolerant of behavior that they allowed to prosper in the lives of those around them. Whatever it is… you don’t need to be cured, you just need to process.
Your sensitivity may be a result of silent concerns, hope deferred, rejection or even disappointment. Your role in this process is to allow the Holy Spirit to reveal WHY these things bother you in this season more than it has in the past. Don’t be surprised if the Lord reveals that the problem rests within you and what you have tolerated.
Feeling Overlooked
For YEARS, I let my light dim so that others can be comfortable. Even religious leaders suggested that I hide my gifts and talents so that it would not provoke certain individuals to jealousy. I hate that I took their advice. I hate that I choose the background to make others feel comfortable. But that didn’t stop jealousy and envy from finding me… even in the background.
Here’s the harsh truth: the influence, the anointing, the gifts, the skills, etc. that God has given you will be intolerable to be who are struggling in the season that God has placed them in.
Unfortunately, even the ones that you love can be used by the enemy to tempt to you to enter into a low place. Often times, they are unaware of how their actions further the plan of the enemy, but don’t hold it against it them. If you consistently feel overlooked, then you are consistently fighting in a mental/emotional battle that cannot be won without the Holy Spirit. Don't let the enemy harden your heart. Trust me, this is easier said than done. Here’s my advice: don’t ever dim your light. The reason you shine is for the glory for God to be visible to those that wander in darkness. Don’t be afraid to set boundaries, even if it offends. You must teach some people how to treat you, but do it in love and without pride. Whether you believe it or not, you’re not perfect. Be ready to ask for forgiveness as much as you demand respect. Lastly, remember that you are seen, you are heard, you are known and you are loved.
Sex Single and the City
The heart of a woman should never be used, abused, manipulated or taken for granted, but it happens. Did you know that there’s a huge difference in being loved and being used? I didn’t discover the difference until about two years ago.
Here’s a story that will bring all of this together: I use to date a guy that supposedly loved me. Our relationship was great as long as I was useful. I knew in my spirit that things were off, but I liked his company. I didn’t end things until I got tired of my usefulness being taken for granted. Do I regret that relationship? Absolutely. It evolved out of boredom and my human need for companionship. However, that relationship/situationship showed me the extent that I would endure BS to not be alone.
So, here I am… years later. I hate BS. I’m extremely impatient. I know what I want and how I want it. I don’t want no scrub (go ahead, sing the song in your head). I’m an introvert. I’ve been dipped in divine melanin and I believe in women’s empowerment. These are attributes of a woman that most men admire, but ultimately try to change once it causes friction.
I don’t have a lot of advice in this area, but I do have learned a few things:
-I’m anointed for my husband.
-I’m an acquired taste, I don’t need everyone to like me. Whomever is assigned to me has been given the grace to love me and grow with me.
-Relationships involve a never-ending cycle of forgiving over and over again.
-If a man loves you, he’ll show it.
-I’m a prize and my husband will speak well of me.
(I know that these are more like affirmations, but I hope it helps.)
Listen, I want you to find love.
Hold on to it.
Fight for it.
You deserve it.
Put in the work and be willing to grow!
A few months, God made me a promise that he was going to surprise me. Listen, I've been more than surprised, I've been awe struck. At times, I feel like God has forgotten the very things that he revealed to me. But, faith is the evidence of things not seen, right?
If you’re single, I suggest that you learn how to receive love just as much as you give it. I pray that you find someone that can hear what you can’t say. I pray that he won’t drag his feet concerning you. I pray you’ll be able to recognize him when he appears. I pray that you develop a heart that easily forgives. I pray that bitterness won’t take root in your heart. I pray that your presence demands respect.
Girl, you have this. You're still loading.