Stay away from people that only make time for you when they need you. You have something to offer the world, but don’t let the world abuse you.
Stay away from people that talk about you behind your back, but smile in your face. The people that drop subliminals about you but never to you directly. People that dramatize your actions so that they are always the victim in every story involving you.
Stay away from people that guilt you. You’ve worked for everything that you have and you deserve the blessings that are coming for you. If your success annoys them, find a new tribe.
Stay away from people that you have to hide things from. If you can’t trust them, then the conversation needs to be short.
Stay away from people who make you feel like you owe them your time, money and presence. Access to you is a privilege, not a right. People will try to control you through their insecurities...keyword “try”.
Stay away from people that make you dim your light. You are smart. You are enough.
Stay away from people that make you feel weird for expecting reciprocity. You shouldn’t have to apologize for having standards. You shouldn’t have to apologize for setting boundaries.
Stay away from people that make you feel like you’re too much. You wear too much make-up. You weigh too much. Your hair is too curly. Your hair is too straight. You’re car cost too much. You’re too spoiled. You ask too many questions. You have too many requirements. Listen, you should not feel like you need to apologize for your existence.
Stay away from anyone that makes it seem like you’re hard to approach. Apologies and inquiries require respect, not an investigation.
It’s easy to shut down and shut people out when you’ve been misunderstood. Just remember, your validation comes from God - not your man, not your therapist, not your chiropractor, not your Pastor. Your validation comes from the throne room of God.
I wish I could go back in time a few years and school my younger self. In retrospect, I see why my life has been unique (for a lack of better words). My love language(s) are loud. Real loud. However, I always felt my love was never reciprocated.
I always had some pissy tailed girl starting drama with me. I stopped mentoring for a while because my patience had become increasingly thin.
I always caused conflict in religious circles because I know better. You can’t manipulate the word of God to control me. Nah. You have better luck with a Stepford Wife.
I was always asked to sing & prophesy, but I always felt ostracized. It’s like people put me at a distance...until they needed to use me. But now, I get it. It was a ploy to make me feel like I wasn’t enough. Now, part of my life’s work is coaching women through the difficult seasons of becoming.
If you’re struggling with feeling like you’re hard to love, remember this:
You are not hard to love.
You are not a burden.
You are not a problem.
God is for you.
Don’t believe the voices in your head.
Don’t get discouraged by outside shenanigans.
You’re in process and that’s exactly where God wants you.
If you long for community and relationship, I pray that you find that special someone or that unique tribe that makes you feel at home. Find someone that loves you for you. Find someone that wants to hear your voice and that cares about your story.
Find someone that makes it look like loving you is the easiest thing to do in the world... besides loving God. Find someone that won’t throw your insecurities in your face.
God + your tribe + that special person is out there. Once you find them, you’ll realize that it was all worth the wait.