Updated: Mar 26
As a public figure/entrepreneur, I can attest to the fact that gaining the trust of your audience is imperative. We live in the age of skepticism. There are public conversations happening all over the world about politicians being cloned, how billionaires are funding the transhumanism movement, Bill and Melinda Gates are becoming more untrustworthy by the moment, the Cryonics Institute is beefing up their marketing.... this is the time to be skeptical!
Setting yourself a part of the skepticism is an impossible without the grace of God. Millions of Jews still doubt that Jesus is the Messiah. Christians that are cessationists believe that the miracles no longer occur. Doubt and panic keeps the news stations function, but where will the nation turn when they need stability? My friend Jean said a powerful statement this week, “The Church is the vaccine for the coronoa virus”. I believe that statement whole heartedly. Let’s be honest, are we in a place where we can handle being the vaccine that the world needs? I’m afraid that many of us are too exhausted to answer the call.
I’m afraid that many of us are too exhausted to answer the call.
For a while, I was too tired to answer the call of God on my own life. I was emotionally drained, disappointment, frustrated, and misunderstood. My answer was always “yes” to be God, but it was a struggle to be obedient. Most Christian leaders wouldn’t admit to this, but I’m not ashamed of it. I was in need of so much, yet I was also needed for so much – and I was empty.
I lost friends because I couldn’t be there. I was labeled a terrible mentor and person because I wasn’t intentional enough. It’s amazing how individuals expect leaders to be there every time they call, need prayer, make a mistake, or they just want to blow off steam. But, who is there for the leader? Contrary to popular belief, leaders need:
1. Prayer – just like you.
2. Space – just like you.
3. Grace – just like you.
4. Money – just like you.
5. Friends – just like you.
6. Privacy – just like you.
Once I was no longer a resource, I became an enemy. Isn’t it funny how we treat God the same way? We become a stiff-necked Israelite that will worship a golden calf because we can control it, rather than accept the provision of God that is in control.
In religious sectors, it is an honor to be a resource. Pastors are sought after for their wisdom. Churches are used because of their resources and also their access to resources. Subsequently, it’s not a hardship for Christians to give, it’s in our DNA. At first, giving may seem like a command that you have to fulfill to make God happy. Thankfully, the more that you experience the love of God, giving because a by-product of your nature.
In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.
Jesus Christ is an example of a transformational leader that sacrificed it all for his followers.
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
2 Corinthians 8:9
For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich.
I’ve fought extremely hard to not make ministry a hardship, but there have been moments when ministry seemed harder than usual. Loving Jesus isn’t difficult, serving people is. Then, when God asks you to serve people who are dedicated to mistreating you and disobeying God, the inclination to question God increases.
When God asks you to be a resource when you are surrounded by the façade of lack, the inclination to question God increases. This is why I pray for my Pastor incessantly. The weight of ministry can be extremely heavy, and it can cause mind games that will lead any pastor astray emotionally. Every time I pray for my Pastor or other Christian leaders, I pray that they release the burden to God.
It’s God’s Burden, Not Yours
There are a countless number of leaders who forget that they are merely sheep that follow the shepherd. The church building, the church members (and all of the greatness and foolishness that comes with them), the church finances, the growth of the church, the decline of the church, the brand of the church… all of this belongs to God. The role of every five-fold ministry leader is to steward people that belong to God (even the people that don’t want to belong to God). When we, as Christian leaders, get lost in our emotions, we lose sight of our role as a sheep led by a shepherd.
When we, as Christian leaders, get lost in our emotions, we lose sight of our role as a sheep led by a shepherd.
We are not Saviors, we are glorified, redeemed, Spirit-filled, sheep. The moment we take on the responsibilities of the Savior like we are deities, we become unnecessary causalities of spiritual warfare.
We are workers of God, but he alone finishes the work.
We lead others to salvation, but Yahweh alone administers salvation.
We prophesy for the edification of the people of God, but we do not divinely bring prophesy into fruition. Our obedience will cause things to come together. Thankfully, God has also factored in our disobedience. The plan of God is sovereign because it is a product of a sovereign God.
When God places a mandate on your life, you can feel the weight of it. Add that into the pressures of life and you can have a psychotic break waiting to happen. I thought that I had to give everything that I had to be loved by God and other people. I worked myself into a pit thinking that it was God’s will – and I was so wrong. It took me YEARS to realize that nothing with God is performance based – but humans judge everything by performance.
Individuals that sung my praises stopped talking to me when I didn’t have time to be their resource. I’ve witnessed individuals who sincerely love me become aggravated with me because I was unavailable or when I just too tired to meet a request. Over time, I began to do things for people out of guilt. I never wanted to seem selfish. I never wanted my good to be misconstrued. But guess what? I had to release what I couldn't control! I am a sheep following a shepherd... just like everyone else.
For a moment (a long moment), it seemed like everyone around only saw me as a resource. Most conversations went just like this:
Me: “Hey! How are you?”
Them: “Good, How are you?”
Me: Good. I’m ju-
Them: “Hey...can you __________?”
I started a tally towards the end of 2018. I made a note for every time someone asked me to do something for them without concern for me to prove a point to God. You can tell I’m a researcher, right? I was gathering data to present to God in the courts of heaven (or I thought I was….smh).
In three months, I realized that I had created a problem. Through some unknown non-verbal communication method, I taught people that I didn’t need help through my actions and resilience. I prayed for people despite of my pain. I never talked about my issues. I put the issues of others first and the subscription to my own issues started piling up. BIG MISTAKE.
I have a squad that supports me and I’m so grateful. However, there were quite a few variables that pulled on my resources without pouring back into me. Keep in mind, all relationships are not meant to be reciprocal. But, I was giving out more than I was given. Being used as a resource without any regard for the person of Dee Evans changed me and it negatively affected my productivity.
Guess whose fault it was? Mine.
More Than a Resource
Lately, God has been speaking to me very clearly about being more than a resource. God has also been speaking very clearly about: 1) who and what I have to leave behind and, (2) also the people and things that he has left in my care to steward. God told me specifically that the individuals he has called to walk with me will know I’m more than a resource. I lifted up my hands in worship because I needed to hear that and have it confirmed.
If you are a Pastor in any capacity, I know you can identify with my sentiments. If you’re an influencer or public figure, you can also identify with my sentiments. In order to accept the next place that God is taking you:
1. You have to release who took advantage of you.
Some individuals were malicious in their intent towards you. They had no intention of engaging in a reciprocal relationship with you. I know you may not care about their side of the story, but they are most likely broken. This doesn’t discount what was done to you, but it should open the door for compassion and forgiveness. I am not telling you to not stand for yourself, I’m just advising you to discern first, then act later.
Remember, you haven’t always been the “superfriend” that you so desperately desire. Don’t put on your cape and become “supervictim” unless you’re ready to be super convicted by the Holy Spirit.
We’ve all sinned.
We’ve all been selfish.
We all deserve some sort of punishment.
Don’t forget that.
In light of the phrase above, refrain from engaging in a competition with your friends, bae, or leaders concerning whose been mistreated the most. Keeping an account of everyone’s wrong doings will only perpetuate a cycle that God is trying to free you from.
Remember that journal I told you about a few paragraphs ago? I still have it, but I tore out the pages where I kept a record of wrong doings.
I took a peep at it the other day. There are some dreams that I have written in the book that I needed to refer to. I read over some of my journal entries, and guess what? Some things have changed and some have not. Most importantly, guess what changed? Me.
I know I’m more than a resource. I’m a person. I’m not just here on this earth to be used.. I’m also here to be loved. I pray that you can also arrive to the same conclusion.
2. Receive the love and support that God is sending you.
Don’t be skeptical of the love that God is giving you. I know it’s hard to not be skeptical, but I don’t want you to miss this move. The love and acceptance that you desire comes directly from the throne room of God, and it’s expressed through the emotions of individuals. Being loved by an individual is a representation of how God loves you. Enjoy this… don’t avoid it!
You can’t protect yourself from hurt. Even if you take the time to create the most beautiful boundaries, conflict will find its way to your doorstep. Accept the inevitable and love the things you cannot change.
No one’s love is perfect but God, but the puppy love is still real to the puppy. You’re loved… and I pray that you can see that.
3. Get ready for the overflow
God is going to give you more than you can handle on purpose. You need to be spiritually and emotionally ready for the overflow. You are a pioneer and you are one of a kind. There is no blueprint for what God wants to do in and through you. So, you need to be ready and open! Document for your journey for you are indeed a living epistle.
God showed me that I would be managing multiple things at ease. Based on what I saw and what was confirmed through the mouth of three believers through prophesy, I don’t know HOW I’m going to manage all of these things mentally, but I do know how I’m going to manage this spiritually . Do you want to do know how?
..joy that overflows
peace that subdues,
patience that endures,
kindness in action,
a life full of virtue,
faith that prevails,
gentleness of heart, and
strength of spirit.
Galatians 5: 22-23
Dear reader, your ear needs to be attached to God’s mouth. The unnecessary weight that you have been carrying will fall off of you in worship. Don’t ignore your place of worship.... you’re going to need it. Don’t worry about being recognized by men - you are understood in heaven. The applause of the man with the nail scarred hands are all that matters.
If you’re struggling with viewing yourself as more than a resource, you are not alone. God sees you as a daughter or son – not a tax id number or a DNA sample.
I pray that you become surrounded by individuals that you can trust.
I pray that you are embraced by individuals that you can forgive and reconcile with on repeat without resentment.
I pray for you to walk in a grace that will allow you to forgive those who have mistreated you.. whether it was malicious or not.
I pray for love to overwhelm you and fill your heart with gladness.
I pray for the work that God has called you too. I pray for it to be bigger than you so that you’ll need God’s direction and instruction. Don’t do this alone!
If you have a testimony…email it to me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I would love to share it!